In Loving Memory
by Strawberry Scented Paperclip
Summary: An accident has left Suzaku with no recollection of the past two years. He doesn't mind much, but who's that dark haired stranger haunting his dreams, and why is his girlfriend acting so distant?


**Disclaimer:** I do not own Code Geass.

**Warnings: ** You may or may not find this one-shot depressing.

I've decided to write this, because I need to get back into my ansgty mood. I've been watching too many cheerful shows lately, and it's been messing with my mood to finish up the next chapter of "Where were you?" I greatly apologize for the delay of that chapter.

**Summary:** An accident has left Suzaku with no recollection of the past two years. He doesn't mind, but who's that dark haired stranger haunting his dreams, and why is his girlfriend so distant?

Just a heads up. This is an AU story.

* * *

The room was quiet. A bit _too_ quiet for Suzaku's taste. Something seemed to be off. He couldn't hear the loud early morning programs that usually came on because he forgot to turn the TV off before going to sleep.

Suzaku sighed and slowly opened his eyes to stare at the plain white ceiling.

'Wait a minute...my room's blue...' he quickly thought, and shot up at the discovery. His eyes quickly darted around the plain white walls. The bed he lay on was a bit taller than the one he remembered, and strange machines were lined up in various places of the room. If he didn't know any better, he'd think this were a hospital, but why would he be in a hospital?

'Oh geez...this is a hospital isn't it?' he inwardly cursed, and tried to slide off the left side of the bed only to have his right arm held back by an unidentified force. It was then that he noticed he wasn't alone in the hospital room. His initial panic wore off and he looked down to see his arm was intertwined with another. It didn't take him long to realize that the person holding his hand wasn't his girlfriend Euphemia. Instead of finding Euphie he found it belonged to a dark haired youth. Said youth appeared to be sleeping. He was sitting on a chair by his bedside and laying his upper body on the bed. Suzaku leaned a bit closer to inspect the stranger.

Who was this boy?

Suzaku wasn't particularly into men, but even so he could still tell the boy was handsome. The raven haired youth had fair skin, and looked a bit tired. Perhaps the guy had missed out on sleep. He wore the same black school uniform he did, which indicated he also went to Ashford Academy.

Not really wanting to disturb the male, but still wanting to release his arm from the other's hold, Suzaku pulled his arm away from the stranger. He used a bit more force than he'd intended, and before he knew it the other was blinking up at him tiredly.

The dark haired boy had the most beautiful eyes he'd ever seen. They were violet, a darker shade of purple than those of his girlfriend.

"Suzaku?" the other called up softly. His violet orbs quickly widened, and he straightened up. "You're finally awake. How are you feeling? The doctor said you-"

"How do you know my name?" Suzaku's eyebrows were furrowed in confusion. He didn't remember ever meeting the guy, but a part of him thought he looked a bit familiar. Perhaps he only believed that because of the connection he'd made to Euphemia's eyes.

"Suzaku, this is no time to be asking silly questions. This is serious," the dark haired male bit out angrily. When Suzaku's confused expression didn't change the boy's violet eyes widened, and his eyebrows rose in surprise.

"I'm sorry," Suzaku frowned. "Do I know you?"

The boy frowned, and gently moved his hand towards Suzaku's face.

"Suzaku, It's me L-" he stopped mid-sentence when Suzaku instinctively moved away from his hand before it reached him.

The hurt that quickly filled the others eyes made Suzaku regret his action. The way the other boy had looked at him seemed to imply they were something intimate, which put Suzaku a little on end. Last time he'd checked the only person he had ever been intimate with was Euphemia.

"Look I'm sorry if I've somehow made you believe we were...well anything, but I have a girlfriend already."

"A girlfriend?" The dark haired boy cried in shock.

"Yes. Her name's Euphemia, and she's a really sweet girl. I thought she was the one who sent you here, but I guess not. Who _are_ you?" Suzaku finished curiously.

"You're dating Euphemia?" The boy frowned. "You really don't remember me, do you?" he asked softly, but Suzaku had a feeling it was a rhetorical question.

'Remember?' Suzaku had a bad feeling about that word. 'Am I forgetting something important?' An uncomfortable feeling fell on his shoulders. Something _really_ felt off about this.

The other male closed his eyes, and leaned back in his chair. He folded his arms in his lap, and furrowed his brows. He looked to be thinking something over. The room was quiet for a few minutes before the boy quickly stood, and straightened out his uniform. He turned and headed towards the door without sparing Suzaku a glance.

"Wait!" Suzaku quickly called out. He didn't know why, but the mere thought of the other males departure left a very uncomfortable feeling in the pit of his stomach.

The other male halted, and turned stiffly towards Suzaku.

"What?" he snapped coldly and glared in the brunette's direction. All the warmth Suzaku had felt the other male radiate towards him seemed to disappear.

"You didn't answer my question," Suzaku asked quickly. He wondered if he was bothering the stranger by asking him again.

"No. We don't know each other. Just," the boy turned back towards the door and sighed, "Please, try to forget I was ever here," he finished. The tone in his voice seemed to hold longing, but longing for what exactly? Suzaku wasn't sure.

With that the other male left. He stopped just outside the door, and held onto it firmly. It looked like something outside the room had caught his attention.

"Hey...how's...holding up?" he heard a soft feminine voice outside the door. The girl didn't speak up too loudly, so he couldn't quite distinguish everything she'd said.

"Hello, Euphie," the violet eyed male replied. Allowing Suzaku to learn that the man was indeed an acquaintance of his pink haired girlfriend. He briefly wondered how they met.

"Is...alright...why...," Suzaku couldn't hear anything else Euphemia had said. He just heard her gasp and what sounded like ruffling of clothes. He assumed Euphie had embrace the dark haired boy. He thought the action would've made him jealous, but he strangely felt nothing.

Suzaku could see a bit of Euphemia from the opening on the door. She was holding onto the boy. He looked to be whispering something in her ear. Euphie cried softly and tightened her hold on the dark haired male.

'Why is she crying?' Suzaku wondered. It unnerved him to see the boy just stand there while she cried on him. 'What exactly did he say that made her so upset?' In his opinion the man should have at least tried to comfort Euphie. The poor girl sounded like she'd just heard there would never be a way to end world hunger.

"Why...now? Are you sure?" she chocked out, and pulled away from the violet eyed male.

He nodded grimly, and she went back to her previous position. He whispered something else that Suzaku couldn't hear, which really made Suzaku wish he had better hearing. He knew it was rude to eavesdrop, but he really wanted to know what the two were talking about.

"I can't do that...its-"

"Please," the violet eyed male pleaded lowly.

Euphemia seemed to be contemplating what he said. "Alright, I'll tell the other's to-" Euphie was cut off by the man.

"Don't! Please, Euphie. I don't want them to..." he trailed off, but Euphemia seemed to get the gist of what he meant. She nodded and placed her hand on the door, so the boy could leave.

"Drive safe..." she murmured lowly after he started walking away.

If the boy heard what Euphie said in the end, he gave no form of acknowledgment.

She turned towards the room and headed inside. Her gaze was directed towards the floor, and tears appeared to still be streaming down her face. It wasn't until the door clicked shut that Euphie looked up to meet Suzaku's gaze.

"Hey, are you alright? What did that guy tell you outside?" Suzaku spoke softly. He smiled and reached for her hand when she got close enough.

It didn't appear to be the words she wanted to hear. As soon as he finished his second sentence, her eyes glistened with even more tears. A light sob broke from her lips, but she moved a hand to her face and tried to regain her composure.

"I'm alright, Suzaku," she quietly murmured after a few minutes. Euphie smiled down, and sat on a nearby chair. The sad look in her eyes betrayed the small smile she forced on. "Don't worry about that guy. It wasn't anything important."

Suzaku knew she was lying, but decided not to push her for an explanation. It seemed to hurt her just to say those words.

The brunette changed the subject and tried to push the dark haired boy as far from his mind as he could. Although it did bother him a bit that he was by his side instead of Euphemia when he awoke. Heck, he even expected his father to be there. Somehow he got the feeling that the boy was more important than either of them led on.

* * *

It had been two month's since Suzaku had awoken from his car accident in the hospital, and two months since he'd been told he had amnesia. Something about the force of the impact when his head hit the steering wheel was what made him forget. He didn't really see the amnesia as a big deal. He had only forgotten what happened during the last two years of his life, which was bad, but it could have been worse. He was sure nothing major had happened in those two years.

Still...a part of him seemed...empty. It felt as though he'd lost something precious, but he had no idea what it could possibly have been. No one he knew mentioned anything about a life changing event, so he thought it safe to assume the feeling came from a forgotten achievement of some sort.

The hardest thing he had to adapt to was school. Missing two years of high school was really frustrating, but he was getting a lot of help from the Student Council members. The Student Council of course was also something he had to get use to. Apparently he was a member, and so was Euphemia. Well...Euphie wasn't a member, but she was subbing in for the vice president. The other members spoke highly about the vice president, Lulu, but Euphie always changed the subject when he was brought up. It seemed her relationship with the guy was a little strained.

On his first day back in school, Suzaku overheard Milly asking Euphie if he'd had a fight with Lulu. Euphemia then proceeded to tell her he just had amnesia. Suzaku wasn't quite sure who this Lulu character was, but it hurt his head just trying to tie a face to the guy.

Suzaku sighed and picked his books up from his locker. He'd stayed up working on a paper for his writing class, and he accidentally slept through his first class.

"Well good morning sunshine~" Suzaku heard the familiar voice of his friend Gino chime in from behind him. He turned to see the blonde haired male quickly approaching him.

"Hey, Gino," Suzaku murmured, and shut his locker.

"I didn't see you in first hour."

"Yeah, I accidentally slept past that class," Suzaku laughed nervously and scratched the back of his neck.

"Ah," Gino smiled brightly. "Well we'd better hurry up or we'll both be late for math."

Suzaku nodded, and followed Gino to their next class. On the way he spotted the handsome raven haired boy from the hospital. He was captivated by the boy. He looked so...lonely, and strangely fragile. He seemed to radiate an aura around him. The guy was untouchable. It wasn't that the man couldn't make friends. Suzaku saw plenty of people praising him when he'd pass by in the hallways. Suzaku himself even tried approaching the boy several times, but he'd always be met with the same cold hostility he displayed last time they met. He couldn't fathom why the violet eyed male would purposely push everyone away, and then look so lonely. He was the sole reason for his loneliness. Even so, seeing the other male's sorrowful expression made him want to embrace and comfort him.

The guy was an enigma. He haunted Suzaku's dreams, and Suzaku couldn't even place a name to his beautiful face. Almost every time Suzaku would dream it would be about the strange dark haired boy. He was somewhat disturbed by the fact that it didn't actually bother him. He forgot what his dreams consisted of. For the most part he just remembered seeing the male in them.

"That's Lulu," Gino stated a bit awkwardly from Suzaku's side. The brunette figured he was suppose to somehow know him.

"Who?" Suzaku asked curiously, and turned to face his blonde friend.

"Him," Gino replied easily, and pointed towards the boy he had been looking at.

Suzaku couldn't contain the shock that went through him at that. He could finally match a name to the man, and he found it both suited and didn't suit him at the same time.

"It's only a nickname, of course," Gino trailed off. His gaze never wavering from the student council's vice president. "Something's not right. I'm going to go see if he's alright."

"But you'll be late for math," Suzaku called after his friend. He was unsure if the blonde should approach Lulu. The violet eyed man seemed to be permanently irritated with everyone and everything, and Gino had a tendency to ignore personal boundaries.

"This is important. Tell the teacher I'm running late if she asks," Gino waved Suzaku off and strode towards the dark haired male.

Lulu was leaning up against a wall with his eyes closed. It appeared as though the boy was sleeping. It was with sick fascination that Suzaku realized the boy did indeed look wrong. He wondered if maybe he was obsessing over the stranger a bit too much. Lulu looked sick, and tired. He didn't know exactly how sick the other male was, because he was too far, but it was still noticeable.

Gino reached Lulu quickly, and he wasted no time in rousing the male from his seamless sleep. Much like the time Suzaku had seen the boy interact with Euphemia, he couldn't hear the conversation between Gino and Lulu. It appeared as though the two were arguing. From his perspective it looked like Lulu wasn't pleased that the blonde was bothering him, and Gino actually looked frustrated. He reached for Lulu's arm, but the other boy had moved away. This went on for a while before Gino finally settled on yanking the boy towards the school offices, however, something the vice president said left Gino frozen. It was as if the scene he'd seen in the hospital was being replayed. Gino quickly relinquished his hold on the boys arm, and instead settled on a tight hug.

Suzaku wanted to stay, but he was already really pushing his luck if he wanted to make it to math on time. He begrudgingly turned away from the boys, and sprinted off in the direction of his class. He was stopped once again when he found Euphie sitting on a bench outside of the student council room. Her face bore a solemn expression. Ever since that day in the hospital, she didn't seem to radiate her usual warmth. She was seldom in a cheerful mood, and Suzaku caught her crying on more than one occasion.

"Euphie, are you alright?" Suzaku asked and sat down next to her. She seemed to snap out of her daze.

"Oh Suzaku, what are you doing here?" she whispered lowly.

"You may be a year younger than me, Euphie, but the junior and senior math classes are still in the same building," Suzaku said smiling in amusement.

"Right. I'm sorry, Suzaku. I was spacing out for a bit."

"Well, we're both late for our classes, want to just play hooky for today?" Suzaku suggested lightly. He wanted to see if he could get some answers out of Euphie.

"I suppose that would be alright..."

Suzaku smiled and leaned in to give her a light kiss on the lips. She turned her head though, so he ended up kissing her cheek.

It bothered him to see how distant Euphie had become. Last he'd remembered they were really happy together. Perhaps something big really _did _happen in those two years. There seemed to be a rift between them. Suzaku felt as though they were drifting apart too much. It wasn't a good sign, but he was beginning to wonder if they should even be together anymore. Especially since a certain raven haired boy was quickly spreading like wildfire throughout his mind, invading his thoughts and dreams.

"Is something wrong Euphie? You decline my offers to take you out, and more often than not you avoid kissing me. Don't you like me anymore?"

The pink haired girl frowned, and turned back to meet her boyfriend's gaze. "I love you, Suzaku," Euphie spoke sincerely. "I just have other things on my mind right now..."

"Does it have to do with Lulu?" Suzaku asked curiously. He was itching to know what she'd discussed with the beautiful violet eyed boy, but hadn't asked for fear of causing her more pain.

Euphemia looked away and frowned at his question, but nodded slowly.

"What did he tell you?"

"I can't do this on my own..." she murmured softly.

"What?"

"I can't do this on my own. That's what he told me. He said he wanted my help with student council," Euphemia easily finished, and turned back towards Suzaku.

The green eyed brunette had a strong feeling Euphie wasn't telling him the whole truth, but she seemed sincere about the student council thing. He wrapped his arms around his girlfriend, and gently kissed her forehead. Noting with slight regret that he didn't feel quite as happy around the pink haired woman as he use to. He wanted to tell her he loved her back when she'd told him, but it felt wrong. Almost as if he'd be betraying someone.

Suzaku brushed those thoughts aside, and continued with their conversation.

"Alright. I was just wondering, because Gino went to help him-"

"Help?" Euphie wiggled out of his hold, and turned to Suzaku in worry. "Why would Lulu need help?" Her voice was urgent, and she looked suddenly distressed.

"I don't know. He looked a little s-" Suzaku didn't get to finish his sentence, because Euphie abruptly stood up and started walking away.

"I'm sorry, Suzaku. I have to go take care of something," she quickly shouted, and jolted out of the courtyard.

Suzaku watched Euphie leave, and decided to leave as well. He was feeling sleepy, so he was going to return home.

* * *

_The sun was glaring down angrily at the young sophomore boys of Ashford Academy. A group of five stood around Suzaku behind the school library._

"_This is a Britannian school. If you want someone to respect your Japanese customs why don't you just transfer into a Japanese school?" A boy sneered at the ruffed up brunette on the floor._

"_You're in Japan," Suzaku bit back angrily. He dug his fingers into the soft earth below him, not wanting to lash out at the ignorant brits. "You need to respect the way we do things here."_

"_So what if we're in Japan? That do-"_

"_Hey!" a smooth deep voice called from somewhere behind the Britannians. "Is there a problem here?"_

_The boys moved away a little to stare at the guy who dared intrude on their fun time._

"_Who the hell do you think you are?" another one of the Britannian bullies hissed, and stepped up to the handsome man that seemed to appear out of nowhere._

_The boy was Britannian as well. He had short black hair, and deep violet eyes that seemed to captivate his soul. He was standing straight, and glaring down at the bullies condescendingly. The way he stood made him seem important, and his voice seemed to hold an air of authority._

_Suzaku noticed the other male was pale, and extremely thin. He seriously doubted the other could take any of them on in a fight. _

"_I suggest you guys get the hell out of here before I have my friend Milly here expel you."_

_Then as if on cue, a few people walked up around the boy. The Britannian brats glared at the dark haired boy, but Suzaku saw them scurry away quickly._

"_Are you alright?" he heard the guy ask lowly, and turned his face back towards the group that helped him. The raven haired male was smiling down at him, and holding out his hand for Suzaku to take._

"_Yeah, I guess," Suzaku spoke sounding unsure. He took the other boy's hand, and noticed how soft it was._

"_Good. I hate seeing idiots harass people. Especially when it's racial prejudice."_

"_Suzaku?" he heard a small voice call from the side._

_He turned and saw his pink haired girlfriend approach him._

"_What are you doing here?" she walked a little closer and gasped. "Oh my god, what happened?"_

"_Some idiots were picking on him," the violet eyed boy sighed and rubbed his forehead tiredly. "How do you know this guy Euphie?"_

"_He's my boyfriend," Euphie replied cheerfully, and tightly held onto one of Suzaku's arms._

"_Is that so?" the raven haired male laughed lightly. "Then in that case welcome to the family, Suzaku," he smiled warmly and held his arm out to shake hands with Suzaku. "I'm Euphemia's slightly older brother, Lelouch."_

Suzaku shot up quickly in his bed, and looked out towards his window. The sun had set, and he realized it was the middle of the night. He'd slept all day.

"Lelouch..."

The dark haired boy's name fell off his mouth easily.

'That's why his name didn't seem like it suited him! His name's Lelouch. Lulu _was_ just a nickname!'

His dream was so vivid. It was almost as if he'd actually lived it. Lelouch...God, the boy's name was beautiful. It fit the other male so perfectly...

Why does it sound so familiar?

"_Suzaku, It's me L-" he stopped mid-sentence._

Suzaku sighed tiredly, and rubbed his temple. If he'd allowed Lelouch enough time to finish his sentence, he wouldn't of had to go through all the grief trying to catch his name.

Why did Lelouch look so sad that day in the hospital, and more importantly_ why_ was he even there?

He shook his head, and smiled to himself. He would worry about that later. The good thing was that he remembered his name.

Lelouch.

It really did suit the young man.

The brunette snuggled into his bed and let himself be carried off by thoughts of the beautiful dark haired man.

* * *

It was amazing how much remembering Lelouch's name was doing for him. His conscious seemed the be a bit more at peace. He'd also managed to sleep well all week. Unfortunately he hadn't run into Lelouch since the day he saw him with Gino.

Suzaku hummed lightly, and strode cheerfully to his math class. Once there, he quickly took a seat beside Gino.

"Hey there, Suzaku," Gino chirped cheerfully.

Gino never did bring up what happened with Lelouch. For a second Suzaku wondered if he'd imagined the whole thing.

"About the other day," Suzaku spoke lowly, and turned to make sure the teacher wasn't there yet. "What happened with Lelouch?"

Then he saw it. The quick flash of concern in Gino's vibrant blue eyes before they dulled.

"It was nothing," Gino whispered quietly, so no one around them could hear.

Suzaku knew his blonde haired friend was lying, and it annoyed him, but he couldn't really force the truth out of him.

"Good morning class," came the enthusiastic voice of their math teacher.

"Good morning," Gino and Suzaku replied back out of habit, and turned to face the front of the room.

The brunette found it extremely difficult to focus on the problems the teacher was writing on the board. He didn't understand why Gino seemed to be holding back on him. It really bothered him to know that Gino knew something he didn't.

"Lelouch!" the teacher hissed, glaring towards the back of the room.

Suzaku snapped out of his daze at the mention of the other boy's name, and quickly turned his head to face said boy. Sure enough, Lelouch was actually there, and it really did appear like he was sleeping.

Why hadn't he noticed that Lelouch was in his class before?

"This is a class room where students are suppose to learn, not sleep! Get up here, and finish this problem."

He had his eyes closed, and his head was propped up by his arm. Suzaku wasn't sure if it was just his imagination, but the boy looked a bit thinner than he'd last remembered.

Lelouch slowly opened his eyes to the curious staring faces of his classmates. He gently eased out of his seat, and shook a bit, but proceeded to the front of the room. He only got half way through before he stumbled, and fell. The dark haired boy barely managed to catch himself on the edge of Gino's desk.

Suzaku's emerald green eyes widened at the unexpected fall. Gino was a bit quicker to react, and slid an arm around the boy hunched over on his desk. He stood and gently pulled Lelouch up with him.

"Oh my!" the teacher cried out a bit in surprise. She appeared to have just notice how sick he was. "Lelouch, you don't look well. Gino, can you take him to see the nurse?"

"I'm taking him home," Gino replied smoothly.

"Sorry," Lelouch murmured weakly, and looked towards Gino. His eyes met with Suzaku's and he frowned.

Suzaku could see sadness brimming behind the other's violet eyes, and it hurt him. It hurt to know he couldn't actually comfort the stranger.

It was also strange to see Lelouch so composed, even though he was obviously falling over with fatigue. Even in a moment of weakness, the other boy seemed strong. Lelouch would never cease to amaze him.

"Goodbye, Suzaku..." Lelouch whispered softly. Suzaku was sure he wouldn't of caught it if the boy wasn't standing so close to him.

Gino moved one of Lelouch's arms around his neck, and firmly secured his own arm around Lulu's waist. They walked out, and the class seemed to buzz with life afterward.

Suzaku couldn't focusing on the murmurs, or the rest of the problems the teacher had put on the board. His mind was preoccupied with thoughts of Lelouch.

'Is he alright?'

The last words the boy had spoken to him also bothered him.

"_Goodbye, Suzaku."_

Suzaku hated the word goodbye. It was the worst parting word anyone could ever use. The word held a sense of finality to it, and he certainly wanted to see Lelouch again.

The rest of the normal school day was rather uneventful. He went to the Student Council meeting, like usual, but noticed Gino still wasn't back. Euphemia was also missing from the group.

"Why aren't Gino and Euphie here?" Suzaku heard Milly asking Shirley and Rivalz.

"I'm not sure," Shirley answered honestly.

Kallen scoffed from the other side of the room, and crossed her arms over her chest.

"What does it matter if Euphie comes or not. She's not actually a member. She's only subbing in for Lelouch, and he seems to hate us for some reason," the red head replied bitterly.

"Hey guys~" chimed Gino from the door. A small smile on his face. Suzaku couldn't help noticing it didn't quite reach his eyes.

"Where were you, Gino?" Shirley asked curiously.

"I had to take Lelouch home during second hour. He wasn't feeling well..." the blond answered. His voice was laced with concern. "I didn't feel up to taking notes so I kinda skipped the other classes."

"Whoa, are you sure you aren't sick too?" Rivalz cried out in surprise. "You love going to class."

"Well, now that you mention it I _do_ have a bit of a headache," Gino laughed and swiftly changed the subject, however, no one except Suzaku seemed to notice.

Suzaku observed the others for the remainder of the meeting. He couldn't shake off the unsettling feeling of dread that had begun to claw at him. It remained with him well after the meeting had ended, and he'd gone home.

"Dad, are you home?" the brunette called out to his father, once he stepped inside his house.

He was met with silence, so he approached his father's study. The light was on in the room, so he poked his head in.

"Yes, we'll get to that eventually. We need to finish up-..." Genbu sighed into his phone tiredly, and proceeded to fill out paperwork on his desk. It didn't seem like the elder Kururugi had noticed him.

Suzaku slipped out of the room, and headed into his. It wasn't worth bothering his father when he was busy. While he was in the student council meeting he'd begun to question a few things. One was why his father had pulled Euphemia aside when he'd gotten to the hospital to pick him up. It was strange how Suzaku's dad got there just after he'd woken up, and he seemed to know something was wrong with him. Suzaku brushed it off and thought it was a doctor that called him, but after further consideration he found that it didn't make much sense. The doctor didn't come in until after his father showed up, and he showed up shortly after Euphemia got there. Euphie was with him the whole time, so he would've seen her make a call to his father. She didn't make a call, because she was upset the whole time. The only other person who could have possibly told his father was Lelouch, because Lulu was the only other person besides Euphemia, that could have known something was wrong at the time.

Why would Lelouch have called his father though? How did he even know his dad? Euphie doesn't even know him that well, and they've been dating for quite awhile.

Speaking of Euphie...Suzaku knew he had to break up with her soon. He just didn't feel the same around her anymore, and it would be wrong to carry out a dying relationship. He had a feeling she didn't feel the same either, and he was also in the process of falling for someone else.

Lelouch had appeared out of who knows where, and captivated him completely. It was becoming hard to focus on anything else. It also somehow felt right to like Lelouch. Almost like it was meant to happen. Like he was meant to fall in love with him...

Love.

The word had crossed his mind several times since he'd awoke, but the only person who'd come to mind when the word popped into his head was the handsome stranger at his hospital bed side. The stranger who gently held his hand, and patiently stayed by his side. Lelouch was the only one who was there waiting for him, and he hardly even knew him. It hurt to think that he hardly knew the dark haired boy, but it was true.

That would change though.

It was the end of the school week, but come next Monday he was going to tell Lelouch how he felt about him. He was also going to break it off with Euphie...

He really hoped his dream hadn't been accurate in the fact that Euphemia was Lelouch's sister. If so breaking up with her might just result in making the dark haired boy angry.

* * *

Suzaku awoke with a start. He couldn't quite remember his dream, but it really bothered him.

"_I love you, and I always will."_

He remembered that phrase, but he couldn't quite remember _who _said it. It was a male voice, but was it his own or did it belong to someone else?

Suzaku furrowed his brow in confusion. It seemed really important, but his dream was blurry. He couldn't really make anything out, although he had felt happy for some reason.

He felt pain now, but couldn't pin point the source. His heart ached for something, but Suzaku couldn't figure out what exactly he wanted.

He laid back in his bed, and drew the covers around him. After laying down for a few hours, he finally managed to fall into a restless sleep.

* * *

The brunette still couldn't remember what he'd dreamt about that got to him. It bothered him, but something else quickly took its place.

He hadn't seen the raven haired boy in over a week, since he'd nearly passed out in class. Needless to say, Suzaku was starting to worry. He also hadn't seen Euphemia around, but he needed to find her. He needed to break up with her. It wasn't fair to keep going out if there was no hope for them. So that day Suzaku made up his mind to go see Euphemia at her house. It would be awkward, but it needed to be done.

After school he quickly made his way over to her house. She didn't live too far from school, however his nerves were starting to set in as he approached her block. He quickly reached her door and knocked. It didn't take long for someone to answer, and when they did he found he actually didn't recognize the girl.

The woman at the door was taller, and older than his girlfriend, Euphemia. Suzaku could only assume that she was one of her older sisters. Cornelia was her name if his memory served him right. He remembered her talking about the elder Britannian once. Euphie lived in Japan with her older sister, but the rest of her family resided in their home country.

"May I help you?" the girl with dark pink hair spoke lowly. She seemed to find his presence intriguing.

"Yes, umm...would Euphemia happen to be home?" Suzaku asked curiously. He'd never spoken to Cornelia before. When he'd go to Euphie's house she was always at work.

"She is," Cornelia murmured quietly. "She's in her room. It's up the stairs and to the left."

"Thanks," Suzaku replied and bowed a bit. He quickly went upstairs. He knew where Euphie's room was, however he couldn't help but stare down the dark corridor where her room was. There was a room at the other end of the hallway, which Euphemia told him once was only for storage, but something about it caught his attention. He shook it off, and started towards her room. Before he reached her door, he saw her step out with a phone in her hand.

"Yes, Thank you. I'll be there right away!" she cried to the person at the other end of the line. Her eyes were wide with worry, and she seemed a bit nervous. She turned to close the door, and spotted the brunette.

"Hey Euphie," Suzaku waved cheerfully.

"Suzaku?" she asked truly surprised. "What are you doing here?"

"I thought I'd stop by," Suzaku murmured. "Euphie, there's something I have to tell you."

"Can it wait?"she frowned, and proceeded to walk away from her room. "Cornelia! I just got a call from the hospital. We need to get there right away."

"I'll go start the car!" Cornelia yelled from somewhere downstairs.

'Hospital?' Suzaku quietly contemplated. 'Why do they need to go to the hospital?'

"Suzaku," Euphie called kindly from the edge of the stairs. "We need to go do something right now, but you're more than welcome to wait if you want to. I don't know how long we'll be out," she tried to smile, but the worry etched on her face was hard to ignore. Something was wrong. He wondered how serious the trip would be.

"Yeah, I'll just wait here," Suzaku quickly responded.

He didn't want to take time away from their duties.

Euphie smiled gratefully, and headed out. "I'm leaving a pair of house keys on the kitchen table so you can lock up in case you get tired of waiting, alright?" she called out before she walked out of the front door.

"Alright, thanks," Suzaku yelled out, and shortly after heard the front door close.

After a few short minutes he turned to head into Euphemia's room. Her room had changed a lot since he'd last been in there. She still had stuffed animals, but her furniture was different. He also noticed that Euphie had no pictures of them up anymore.

"I wonder why she took them down," the brunette wondered out loud. Then he noticed a peculiar box poking out from the bottom of her bed. It was blue, and seemed to be out of place in Euphemia's bright pink room.

He crouched near her bed, and pulled the box out of its hiding place. There was a green sticky note on the lid that read "Do not toss!" Suzaku opened the box, and froze in shock.

The first item in the box was a framed picture. It held him and Lelouch. Suzaku had his arm around Lelouch's neck as they sat in what appeared to be a Ferris wheel carriage. They were both smiling brightly at the person taking the picture from the other side of the little cart.

'Me and Lelouch? When was this taken?' Suzaku quickly turned the frame around, and undid the little handles holding it together. He pulled the back off, and stared curiously at the handwritten message. It wasn't hard to distinguish that it was a message written by Euphie.

"To Suzaku, because I know you want something to remember this day by. -Euphie," read the message.

Was it an important day?

He checked the date. It was from a little more than a year ago.

Did Euphemia take the shot?

So he did know Lelouch, and from the likes of the picture he knew him well enough to be in close proximity of him. Lulu seemed really happy in the picture, so then...why was he acting so hostile when he tried to approach him?

Suzaku shrugged it off, and continued shifting through the items in the blue box. They all seemed familiar to him and important. He caught sight of another picture, and quickly pulled it out. His eyes grew wide, and a faint blush crept up to his face when he actually looked at it.

The picture was of Lelouch and him together as well, except in this picture he had a hand on Lulu's head and was kissing the other on the cheek. Lulu's violet eyes were bright with happiness, and it appeared that he was laughing at something. Lelouch was looking straight into the lens of the camera, and they were both holding hands. This picture was also taken at an angle, which led Suzaku to believe that he himself had taken it.

Suzaku stared at the picture for a while longer. The background was just outside of the student council room.

"You invited me into it didn't you?," he unconsciously murmured, but then stopped to think about it. "...wait a minute, you actually did!" Suzaku spoke aloud once more. He had been trying to figure out exactly how he'd met the student council, but no one told him anything. Now he remembered though.

"_Thank you," Suzaku managed out. He was still in pain, but felt he shouldn't worry the stranger. He'd already gone out of his way to help him after all..._

_Euphie's phone rung, and she swung it out to check who was calling._

"_Oh! I totally forgot. I was suppose to meet Cornelia today. I've gotta go, but I'll see you later."_

_They watched her leave, and Euphie's brother turned back towards Suzaku._

"_They're going to come back you know. Can you handle yourself?"_

"_Yeah. Don't worry about me, I'm fine," Suzaku murmured, although he'd really like to stay around the violet eyed male._

"_You don't need to lie..." he paused and turned back to face the group he arrived with. "I'm going to take him to the nurse's office. I'm sorry to have interrupted our meeting like this."_

"_It's alright, Lulu," the blond girl he remembered as Milly quickly chimed in. "You're right, these things really can't be helped. Someone has to deal with them. I'm glad we were able to help you though-"_

"_Suzaku," the brunette responded._

"_Alright. I'm glad we were able to help you, Suzaku. Unfortunately we must be on our way back to the clubhouse, we were lucky to have been coming here to get Lulu. Otherwise we wouldn't of seen this," Milly said softly. She waved farewell, and led the group away from them._

"_I'm Lelouch by the way," the violet eyed male spoke up after his friends left. "Lets get you to the nurses office," he gently reached for Suzaku's wrist and pulled him towards the nurse's office._

"_If you're busy you can always return to your friends."_

"_Don't worry. They can hold the Student Council meeting with or without me," Lelouch replied, and kept leading Suzaku around the school. They stayed in comfortable silence for a while. "You're new here aren't you?" Lelouch suddenly asked after a few short minutes._

_Suzaku shot him a curious look. "How did you-?"_

"_Your uniform looks new. I took a guess...Listen, if you're having problems-"_

"_I'm fine, Lulu," Suzaku spoke up._

"_No. You're not. I bet these bullies have been bothering you since you enrolled, haven't they?" Suzaku frowned, and the dark haired boy continued. "Join the student council with me, Suzaku. You'll be able to make some friends, and those bullies will probably leave you alone."_

Lelouch was the one who asked Suzaku if he wanted to join. Originally he joined because he wanted to be near Lelouch, but he soon found out that he wasn't the only one wanting to get close to him.

How had he managed to get together with Lelouch though?

It explained why Lelouch was actually the one in his hospital room instead of Euphemia. He was extremely happy to have had something with the ebony haired youth although he really wished he remembered _how_ it happened. It hurt him to know that he didn't remember. He also wondered when exactly he and Euphemia broke up. She was the one who signed the first picture that he'd framed...he still wondered what the occasi-

"Oh no!" he hissed, and shuffled around to pick up the framed picture again. He remembered what the occasion was now. It was his very first date with Lelouch. Well...Lulu never considered it that, since they were at the fair with the whole Student Council, but Suzaku was grateful for all the opportunities they gave him to be alone with Lelouch. Milly snapped the picture when they were about to get out of the Ferris wheel. She probably showed it to Euphemia.

How could he have forgotten something like that though?

He felt terrible, and cursed the accident. The accident was another mystery. What exactly was he doing that had him so preoccupied that he crashed?

He continued looking through everything, and realized that everything in the box belonged to him. He had to wonder why Euphie had that box in the first place. It sparked a few memories in him, and he felt embarrassed for having forgotten them. It did relieve him a bit to know that he and Lelouch were dating though, and that he'd broken up with Euphie. He noticed it had been two hours since Euphemia and Cornelia had left, so he was going to go home and tell Euphie about his discoveries later. As soon as he stepped outside her room, the door at the end of the hall caught his eye again. Deciding no one would really mind if he went in, he approached the door, and pulled it open. He was hit with a wave of nostalgia as he entered.

The room was white with sleek black furniture. It seemed cold, and he frowned at that. He could tell that this room was Lelouch's room. He'd been here, or it seemed like he had been. The bed looked like it hadn't been slept in for awhile.

Suzaku approached the nightstand with picture frames and picked up the first one within his range. It was a picture of himself. He was smiling cheerfully up at the camera, and sitting in what appeared to be his living room.

So Lelouch _has_ been over to his house?

"I guess he really could have been the one that phoned my father," Suzaku spoke to himself.

He placed it back, and glanced at the other ones. One person that caught his attention immediately was a small girl with honey colored hair. He immediately recognized her, and he winced.

She was Nunnally. Lelouch's dead little sister. She died...about two years ago. Lelouch slipped into a dangerous case of depression, and Cornelia had him move to Japan with her so he could escape their house in Britannia. It held too many memories of Nunnally, and it was doing him more harm than good. He vaguely remembered Euphemia disclosing that information to him when she realized the two of them had met at school.

Suzaku turned away from the nightstand, and peered curiously around the rest of the room. He could tell he'd been to Lelouch's room several times. A small bottle on the railing of his bed caught his attention. He reached over, and picked it up. Noting that it was headache medicine. It made sense to see it there. His boyfriend had chronic headaches.

Suzaku smiled to himself when he realized he was starting to remember the dark haired man better.

The accident suddenly invaded his thoughts. He got in an accident the day Lelouch had his doctors appointment. Lelouch got transferred to a hospital, and when he called Suzaku to tell him how it went he clearly heard the distress in the others voice.

"_I love you, and I always will."_

The line from his dream popped up. He had been the one to say it. It was the last thing he said to Lelouch before he left for his appointment. He was just trying to reassure Lulu, but there could seriously be something wrong with him.

Panic quickly seized him.

Cornelia and Euphemia were on their way to the hospital. It was true he hadn't seen him all week, but were they really going to see Lelouch? What was wrong with him? He noticed how he'd been looking worse as the days went by, but that could always be because he didn't remember...

He quickly reached for his phone in his pocket, and dialed Euphemia's number. The call went straight to voice mail, so he tried to search for another number. He cursed when he realized Lulu's number wasn't on his phone anymore, and had to wonder if Euphemia deleted it. She had a box of his stuff containing fond memories he shared with Lulu, so he had to wonder why she was trying to keep him away. The things she took from his room could have helped him remember her brother, but why would she be trying to suppress his memories of Lelouch?

'I have to see him,' Suzaku thought firmly. 'What hospital were they going to?'

He tried to think of any possible way of figuring it out, and then he remembered Gino. The blond had been close to Lelouch recently, maybe he'd know where Lelouch was?

Without wasting anymore time, he quickly dialed the blond's number and waited for him to pick up. After a few rings, he heard the click of the other line being connected.

"Hey there," Gino chirped from the other end of the line. "What's up, Suzaku?"

"Gino, where's Lelouch?" Suzaku asked bluntly. He had no time to entertain the blond's foolish behavior. He had a bad feeling about Lelouch, and the last words he'd spoken to him weren't helping.

"_Goodbye, Suzaku."_

Lelouch _had_ to know what those words meant to him. He just had to.

"Lelouch?" the blue eyed blond questioned. "Umm, why would you want to know where Lelouch is?" Gino sounded a bit nervous.

"Gino!" Suzaku hissed urgently. "Just tell me where he is!"

"I-"

"Which hospital is he in?" Suzaku took a guess, and his suspicious were confirmed when he heard Gino's surprised gasp.

"How did you-? Do you remember everything?" the blond cried out in bewilderment.

"No, but I do remember Lelouch, and I know that I have to see him right now."

"I really shouldn't be telling you, Suzaku. Euphemia stressed how important it was to keep you away." Gino's voice was serious, and after a brief pause he continued. "...but I guess it won't be too bad if I tell you."

'Why would Euphie try to keep me away from Lelouch?' he wondered.

"Lulu is at St. Luke's International Hospital," Gino finished. "Suzaku, I really don't think you-"

"Thanks, Gino," the brunette interrupted his friend, and hung up.

He quickly exited the room, and went downstairs to retrieve the house key Euphie left for him. After locking up, he hurriedly made his way back to his car. Luckily St. Luke's International Hospital wasn't that far from Ashford Academy.

* * *

It wasn't long before Suzaku reached the hospital. The memories were still coming to him, and with each one he felt worse for having written them off.

Of course they were important to him. Lelouch means the world to him.

The lady at the front desk pointed him towards Lelouch's room. He felt dread bubbling up inside him as he approached. He was glad that he knew where Lelouch was, but he wished he knew what was wrong with his boyfriend.

He caught sight of Cornelia when he reached the floor he was told Lelouch was on. She was talking on the phone with someone, and currently had her back towards him.

"I don't care!" she yelled angrily. "It needs to be black. It's his favorite color." She started pacing, and Suzaku noticed that despite her strong and commanding voice, she was crying. It was silent, but the tears were still flowing. She caught sight of Suzaku, and her eyes widened slightly but she made no move to talk to him.

"Sorry," he murmured lowly for interrupting her call. "but do you know where Lelouch's room is?"

"Down the hall," she said with slight hesitation and pointed to the hall at her side. "It's the fourth door to the left."

"Thank you," he mumbled, and bowed politely. He quickly walked away. He wasted no time outside the room, and quickly opened the door. It was disappointing when he stepped in, and only saw Euphie.

"Suzaku?" she gasped lightly when she saw him. Her eyes were red and swollen, and she was sobbing.

"Where's Lelouch?"

His eyes darted around the room for any signs of the dark haired youth, but he found none.

"What are you doing here?" she asked in shock. Tears were streaming down her face, and didn't show sings of stopping anytime soon.

Euphemia was sitting by the single bed in the hospital room. Her hands were clenched around the clean white bed sheets. The bed was made. Truth be told, if Euphie hadn't been in there he would have thought he had gone to the wrong room.

"Where's Lelouch, Euphie? I know he's here. Gino told me," Suzaku asked calmly although he was anxious on the inside.

Her eyes widened, but she stayed quiet. Her gaze shifted down towards the bed, and another heart wrenching sob escaped her.

"He's..." she rested her head on the soft bed, and mumbled the rest. It was muffled, so Suzaku couldn't quite make out what she said. Her shoulders were shaking, and Suzaku approached her side. He gently placed a hand on her shoulder, and she turned to face him. Her eyes held a deep sadness, and she seemed to stop caring if he saw her cry or not. She didn't try to stop the flow of tears like she had been doing lately, instead she just let it out.

"He's gone, Suzaku..." she trailed off brokenly. Her voice miserable. Euphemia stood and embraced the brunette.

"Wait, what do you mean 'he's _gone_?'" Suzaku shouted, and pushed Euphemia away so she was at arms length. He glared at her, and she continued to sob. He knew he shouldn't take his frustration out on her, but she was the only one who seemed to have the answer to his questions.

"He's...we're never going to see him again, Suzaku."

Her words made his heart sink. Was she telling the truth? Euphie was never one for cruel jokes...but how was this possible?

"He's dead. Lelouch was declared dead over an hour ago," she tried to wipe her tears away. "Cornelia's out in the hall...she's making funeral arrangements," Euphemia whispered lowly and tried to form a smile. "At least now Lulu can finally rest in peace...it's what he wanted you know."

Suzaku felt his world crumbling. Lelouch was... he couldn't even bring himself to say the word. How was it even possible?

"How?" Suzaku whispered harshly. Tears were coming to him now. He could feel his eyes burning with them, and he did nothing to hold them back.

"He was sick, Suzaku," Euphie wept. "He'd been dying for awhile now. It's what he found out at his doctor's appointment. He could have undergone treatment, but it was uncertain that it would even succeed. And it seemed like he'd lost his will to live near the end."

"What the hell? And _no one _bothered to tell me?" Suzaku roared. It infuriated him to know that Gino knew about it and never said a word.

"There was no point," she spoke mournfully.

"No point? Euphie, I'm his boyfriend!" Suzaku cried in anger. "I love him..." He added brokenly.

She frowned, "Suzaku...he wanted to tell you. He waited for you to wake up. Do you know how hard it must have been for him? He didn't even know if or when you'd wake up, and then when you finally did you didn't even remember him," tears were streaming down her face. "How can you blame him for that? _I_ didn't even know about it until I went to see how you were holding up."

"I'm not blaming him," Suzaku frowned. "Why didn't you tell me? Even Gino knew! How many other people where in on this?"

"Only our family, and they just found out recently. I didn't tell anyone, Suzaku. Lelouch didn't want anyone to worry about him. Gino only knows because he caught Lelouch at school, and Lulu had no choice but to tell him. He's not the type to let up easily," she paused and looked away. "You didn't even remember Lelouch, so I couldn't tell you. It wouldn't of made a difference."

"I found the box under your bed, Euphie. Why did you take that stuff? Were you trying to keep me from remembering?" It was killing him inside. He couldn't believe Lelouch was actually gone...

Euphemia sighed in remorse, but kept her gaze trained on the floor.

"Don't take it personally, Suzaku. It was... Lelouch's last request," she spoke softly, trying to keep her voice steady. "He wanted me to keep you from remembering him at all costs. He..." she paused and sat back into her chair at the bedside. "He wanted to make sure you were happy. He loved you so much...Lelouch kind of liked that you forgot about him. He was dying, but because you didn't remember him you wouldn't be sad when it happened. H-he didn't want to make anyone sad, so he also wanted to distance himself from the student council members."

"Is that why he's been acting so hostile?" Suzaku asked in amazement.

'Lelouch really planned this out...'

Euphie nodded. "He knew he couldn't do it alone, so he asked me to take his place for awhile. Milly didn't ask too many questions about it. Lelouch also asked me to play along with our relationship," Euphemia spoke sadly. "I don't love you in a romantic way anymore, Suzaku, but I'm sure you've already figured that out. I wanted to decline at first, but I couldn't. I knew it would hurt Lelouch to see us together, but it would hurt him more to see you hurt. He wanted to make sure you were happy, Suzaku. Even if he wasn't around..."

Suzaku felt terrible. He couldn't believe it. Lelouch actually believed it was _better_ for him to forget...

It stabbed at his heart just thinking about it.

"Why was he still going to school if he was dying? His grades shouldn't of mattered at that point," Suzaku spoke, frustrated. Maybe if he'd been at home saving his strength it could have bought him more time...

Euphie laughed lightly, and wiped at her tears.

"He missed you, Suzaku," she smiled at him despite how sad she was.

"Missed me?" Suzaku asked in surprise.

'He tortured himself everyday just to see me...?'

"He didn't want you to remember, but he couldn't stay away from you for long. Part of the reason he went was due to the fact that he didn't want to worry anyone with his absences, but the main reason was to see you, Suzaku. You didn't remember him, but he still knew you and just seeing you was enough for him." She smiled fondly at him. "I'm glad you two met...Lelouch was a mess before then. After Nunnally's death I wasn't sure if he'd ever really recover. I guess when he saved you from those bullies he was kind of replacing Nunnally. He wanted to make sure you were well off without him before he d-departed," at that last word she hiccuped and turned away from Suzaku again.

They stood in silence for a few moments.

"How was he before he died, Euphie? Did he go peacefully?" Suzaku spoke quietly, slightly hesitant to ask. He wasn't sure what to make of it, but if Lelouch did all that for him he at least hope Lulu died peacefully.

"I-I don't know Suzaku..."

"Euphie, please... just tell me," the brunette sounded weary even to himself.

"He-he wanted to see you before he died. Just one more time...but I told him we couldn't reach you," she sighed, and pushed back a bit of her pink hair passed her shoulder.

"He wanted to see me, and you didn't bring me? Why would you do that?" Suzaku cried. He was struck with a sudden overwhelming sense of anger.

"Because you didn't remember." She gulped. "It would've been too painful for him and I just couldn't see him go like that!" She hung her head and her shoulders started to shake again.

Seeing her in obvious grief cooled his temper. He sighed in exasperation. "You're wrong, Euphie. I-I don't know how to explain it but...I felt it. Lelouch was driving me insane and I didn't even know why. It's like somewhere in the back of my mind, I was trying to force myself to remember him. You know...I went over to your house today to break up with you..." Suzaku finished a bit awkwardly.

Euphie sniffled a little at his confession.

"I guess we really weren't meant to be, huh? Even without your memories we wouldn't of lasted."

"I have to see him, Euphie. Where did they take Lelouch?" Suzaku pleaded desperately and started heading towards the door. He wiped away his tears and tried to compose himself.

"You can't!" she suddenly cried, and reached for Suzaku's arm. "He's down in the morgue. You won't be able to see him until the wake..."

"What?" Suzaku asked in shock. "...but I want to see him..."

"I'm sorry," she whispered lowly.

To say Suzaku felt like the worst person in the world would be an understatement.

Suzaku was crushed. Not only had he missed the death of his most important person, he didn't even get to say goodbye...

And he never would...

He was too late...

* * *

**Author's note: ** I'm sure you'd all be interested to know that this was originally going to take place from Euphemia's point of view.

I've held off on posting this, because of the holiday season. It's suppose to be cheery and I didn't want to rain on anyone's parade.

Anyways, I hope you liked this. I had to backtrack a lot and delete a lot of stuff because I wanted to keep this as short as possible. (So it could remain a one-shot.) I apologize for the length, it turned out waaaay longer than I originally anticipated.

Kudos to anyone who caught the double meaning in the title.

Comments are always appreciated~

Thank you for your time :)


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